sábado, 18 de setembro de 2010

After Effects

Let's talk about luv again!!

I was sitting in my bed, watching some old e-mails, when I found a old celphone I used to have when I was in US. So I took it off the closet and started to see if it still worked. It did!!
At first I laughed, but my laughed turned into tears when I started to look at the texts message I sent to people from there.

If I were there right now, in 2008, I would definitly say how much I care about someone. I really would allowed him to come after me, even in another state, just to tell face to face how much I loved him!!

I would ask more personal questions to my new friends and care more about their problems. Not that I didn't care, I just never thougth about it over.

I would enjoy much more my friends from Brazil and my friends from Chicago, South Bend and Richmond. Specially from Richmond 'cause I didn't have enough time to know them better. I would tell Dennis Hooper that his friendship was the most amazing thing I had earned and thanked him 1000 times for letting me stay over his place for while, and eat his food, sleep in his bed and see his alarm clock ringing 10 different times before he wakes up!!

I would be honest with Anderson and let him know about the other guy I had in Brazil waiting for me. Even knowing that I was secret crazy in love about Anderson, it wasn't fair that I let him know about Julio just when I was coming back. I would tell him that I loved him, even in so short time, I really loved him. And I wouldn't be waiting for him in Brazil, wich I did!!

I would tell Regiane that she was the most amazing girl I met in Richmond, she really was!! And even we both living in the same country right now, I never stopped to pay her a visit and she never did also, but I'm sure she would if I ask! As my relationship with the guy, me and her became friends pretty fast, 'cause we were the same!!

Now, about South Bend:

I would kiss and hug Pat, my coordinator, more!! She saved me when I was alone and she offered me her house, her food, her care and her prayers. I really apreciate what she have done to me, and I told her that. And Tim, her husband, what a great husband!! I wish I could have one exactly the same when I get married!!

I would tell Ema, Melisa, Jo and Kristy how important are their friendship to me. With them my horroble days at the crazy house was easy to take. They helped me, they got drunk with me and we had a lot of fun together!!! Melisa and Jo made me realize that have fun was possible even during snow season, we just need a bunch of friends, beers and music!

I would tell Elena how amazing teatcher she is and how much I learned just being friends of her. She is incredible and almost everything I know in english and spanish matters I earned her!!!! Elena is the most pationate, delicate, smiling and enjoyable person I ever known.


I have no words to tell about Mir and Gabs. Gabs I'm always talking to, once we live at the same city in Brazil. So I'm sure she knows how much I love her!! Mir, in the other hand, took a different route and stayed over there!! I miss her so much and I hope I can meet her someday!!

My friend from english school, I would kiss the all in the mouth, 'cause they deserve it!! They are just amazing and welcomed me very well!!!


Despite everything I haven't done and I would if I had a time machine, there was one thing I could have done more to a person in Brazil. Julio!! He's the one!! I was datting him right before travelling and he was in love with me. I confess that when I travel I wasn't as in love as he was but I liked him. Time pass and I realized how much I liked him, and I fell in love. Really in love.

The difficult was that I lived in US and he was here, in Brazil. We talked to each other everyday for about 4 hours a day by Skype. We actually had contact, what amazing thing for me!! I promised him that I would be with him forever once I got back but the other guy from Richomd showed up in a lonely moment for me and I betrayed Julio's confidence!!

No, we weren't suppose to be alone all this time, but I never though I would fell in love with someone since I had the most amazing guy in the Universe back to my country. But love writes in many languages and I got punked by it!! I'm sorry Julio for making you fell miserable when I was back and couldn't look at you!! I really loved you, and I was so embarassed that I rather watch you walk back than hug you with this guilt in my chest!!

But please, always know that I miss you, and I'm a stupid chick for keeping this from you. It would be much easier if I had been honest insted of a child!! We could be friends by now and we not even talk to each other right!!

Life is like that!!
I'm sorry about my english, I don't write like this since 2008!

It was in 2008, we are almost in 2011 and I'm totally different now!! But tonight, while I was cheking my previous text messages from 2008 a nostalgic sensation cautgh me right away!!

English is always nostalgic!!